Sometimes the weirdest things make me happy. Take, for instance, the act of Spring cleaning. In my life, this joyous and highly anticipated event will require meticulous preparation, and it can only occur under very specific conditions:
- In order to truly drive out the stench of winter and provide proper ventilation for the copious amounts of bleach that will be used, it must be warm enough for open windows.
- Special care must be taken to ensure my cleaning supply arsenal is complete. Nothing is worse than getting to Spring Cleaning Phase Five: Hardwood Floor Dust Removal only to find that I've forgotten to purchase the Swiffer pads. Oh, the humanity!
- I must be home alone. All day. This point is absolutely non-negotiable for the following reasons:
- Spring cleaning has a very specific soundtrack in the form of a self-created playlist entitled Cleaning Dance Party (No, I'm not kidding), and it must be played at maximum volume.
- As the title of the playlist suggests, there will also be a dance party. While I'm not at all ashamed of my sweet, sweet moves, the dance party is a party for ONE and that is because I do recognize the fact that the aforementioned moves may be slowly morphing from "sweet moves" into "mom moves." I'm almost 35, so it was bound to happen sometime.
Under these very specific conditions I will be able to transform my house into a better version of itself, and since it will again be a place that I am proud of, I might even invite you over for a visit that extends beyond the warm weather boundries of my porch. Once inside, however, you'll probably notice a few items that seem out of place -- items that might make you think, "Wow, she really talks a big "Cleaning Dance Party" game, but it seems to me that she missed some spots..." For instance, upon entering my dining room, you may encounter a scene that looks like this:
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| "It's a booby trap, mom." |
Or, perhaps you'll notice a neat line of purposefully placed toys in the middle of the floor, like this:
These sort of glitches in cleanliness and organization might make you think that I can talk the Cleaning Dance Party talk but can't walk the Cleaning Dance Party walk. But you'd be wrong.
The intention of the Cleaning Dance Party is to rid the house of grease, grime and dirt, but it is not designed to rid the house of its signs of life. While in most rooms you will find sparkling surfaces and an air of spare de-clutterization, in the bathroom you'll probably find these two happy stickers hanging out just above the towel rack:
I don't really know why they are there, and I can't really explain why I clean around them. I just do. And have for months and months. You might also find our toilet paper storage system (pictured below) a little unorthodox, but it is apparently the 4-year-old preferred method, and for some reason it makes me happy. And, like I said before, sometimes the weirdest things make me happy.
